hello mum..mum plz do something to help me change things with my brothers and sisters and my cousins and that cos i dont think i can by myself.i no you no they keep on embarresing me in one way or another.and i keep on trying to get close but i cant keep trying and getting things frown back .wrong.mum ive caught so many people doeing and saying things to other people that shouldnt be happening a and alls i want is the back up of my family like i would do for any of them .even if i wernt getting on with any of erm id never let anyone mug erm of like they all do do with me and the day that i let anyone hit any of my family is the day i dont wanna be living cos id rather be dead then do that .mum we could be something special if only we stuck together a .im sorry for righting like this mum but its the only way i can talk to you cos your the only person that admits they get me a and me and you no wats wat and weve seen it going on .well mum im liveing it .and i fucking hate it all.im sorry . mum im gonna try /again/with my family but i dont think i can do much more .i hope you understand mum. mum if they realy dont want anything to do with me then at least tell me cos then ill leave erm all alone and that way i cant get hurt .mum i feel like ive got no one .i no ive got my cleo and kids but i mean ive got no family who realy are my family and i feel like ive lost my last person in the world that did care about me /you/and i feel like my brothers and sisters and family are like thinking well now hes got no connection to the family cos you aint here a .mum i hate the way im feeling its getting worse everyday .and people wonder why i cant trust anyone .ive never hit any of our lot but they dont mind hitting me but i wont keep letting erm hurt me mum.mum im so sorry cos alls ive ever wanted is what youve always wanted but it dont seem to be that easy cos everyones thinking something else .i think.none of erm phone me visit me but theyve all got one and other but ive gotta deal with all my problems by myself as usual and theyve all got there mums and dads or brothers and sisters .i feel like ive lost everything and i feel like alan gary tammy and sam have got there family cos there all happy together and i no they only put a front on with me when were alone but as soon as were with any of there pales im always the different one and i fucking see and hear it all .like gary mum he hurts me /bad/mum i wished youd spoken to them .mum i dont no wat to do .ive gotta always be the one that starts of a confersation even if theyve hurt me .is that cos im older .well if it is then why dont they like me when i protect them like im older .mumthey do forget were they come from and theyve iver forgottern that i no alot more about there pales or they just dont care cos they just dont like me . i feel so lost mum...fuck this im makeing myself ell over all this when ive just had my op and im getting better .i should say fuck it .but i cant .mum plz help me cos i cant do it all on my own...good night god bless i love and miss you mum more than you me or anyone will no .you was my world now ive got nothing .tony.