hello mum.your home today a.mum this is so hard .i miss you so much.i wished i could have a talk with you.im sorry if it seems like im messing up right now but i promise ill get tougher befor your day comes .im just finding everything hard even here at home .im sorry .i no if you was here i no what youd be telling me to do .a haha.i miss you so much .mum since that day you passed im starting to see things clear i mean im starting to understand why things were said or why things were done a certain way .but back than i was takeing them messages wrong .im just so glad we was together to the end a .and you no you wasnt alone a mumxx.mum i wanna apologise for everything and everyone of us now for any weak times any of us might have soon .cos it is our worst time in life .and i no youll understand .i promise ill start to open up to my family soon haha /soon/ but theres a few things ill keep just for me and you a mum .since you passed mum i aint had a dream .its like im a zombie haha.and mum dyou remember all my life ive always said i aint never gonna die cos by the time im 50 theres gonna be some special medisons that make people younger haha well mum i dont mind now cos i no youll be there waiting for me a .i hope your with your dad mum brother and sister and anne and mum i hope you keep your promise to come and see me a.alright mum im gonna get ready now cos ive gotta go up your hse and be with every body .so ill see you in a minute a .xxlove you loads your son xtonyx.